There are two things we can’t avoid, they say: Death and Taxes…well I guess Facebook Notifications should be added to the list.
Guess who poked me… Satan’s assistant. Poked him back.
1 (unread) message:
“Dear newly-dead,
You are invited to a dinner in Hell. Look fancy, charge your phone, and make sure you bring your own wine. Cuz the ones on the table are architects, your favorite…so, there won’t be any alcohol for you.”
Mies was sitting at my right, smoking his usual cigar; “I hate Louis Sullivan!” he whispered before taking a sip from his glass.
No knock on the door, but just a strong slamming; a nervous, drunk woman in Black rushed in.
“Only men here? Damn, this curse is eternal!”
Mies: Pardon…but who are you?
Zaha: “I’m a Woman. I’m an Arab. I’m an Architect. Biology and geography define the first two; the third has taken forty years of hard work. But hard work is never enough..”
Someone: “That’s when a ‘Schumacher’ is needed.”
Zaha: “I miss Rem!”
“Ooo, an arab. How interesting. I think the building’s identity resided in the ornament.” – Louis Sullivan stated firmly
“Ornament is crime” – An already drunk Adolf Loos shouted! – “How dare you?”
Mies –I agree with Loos, Less is more!
Venturi -“Oh, come on, less is a bore and you know it!”
“Ornament is crime” – Adolf Loos shouted again even louder
Philipp Johnson – “No, mister, less is a whore and so are you!”
Le Corbusier – “What’s wrong with you? Why are you so bitter?”
Philipp Johnson :”I don’t know! I couldn’t sleep because my house has no walls, just glass everywhere…”
Mies: “ That’s what happens when you copy my projects, dear Philipp!” Its my curse…
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Sullivan: “Form ever follows Function.”
F.L.Wright : “Sullivan my dear, that has been misunderstood. Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union.”
Barragan: “Spiritual was it you said Frank? Architecture is an art when one consciously or unconsciously creates aesthetic emotion in the atmosphere…”
Someone: “I thought Feng Shui does that!”
Zaha: “Enough with the bullshit, tell them the truth Oscar!”
Niemeyer : “Form follows beauty or, even better, form follows feminine.”
Zaha: “It is all about the curves…”
Kenzo Tange: “Architecture must have something that appeals to the human heart. Creative work is expressed in our time as a union of technology and humanity.”
Zaha: “ Sentimental fool! I miss Rem!”
Mies – “I don’t want to be interesting. I want to be good.”
Philip Johnson : “If architects weren’t arrogant, they wouldn’t be architects. I don’t know a modest good architect.”
Antoni Gaudi : “Good architects are Those who look for the laws of Nature as a support for their new works collaborate with the creator.”
Mies: “God is in the details!”
“God is dead Gaudi, God is dead!” – Nietzsche stated caught in his hysteria
Gaudi: “And so are you, Friedrich! Why is he here again?”
Vitruvius: “He was bored so I brought him with me”
Richard Neutra: “And Why is Vitruvius here? The architect who really designs for a human being has to know a great deal more than just the Five Canons of Vitruvius.”
Vitruvius: “Nothing requires the architect’s care more than the due proportions of buildings.”
Louis Kahn: “A great building must begin with the immeasurable, must go through measurable means when it is being designed, and in the end must be unmeasured.”
Le Corbusier: “I prefer drawing to talking. Drawing is faster, and leaves less room for lies.”
Mies: “You know what? Everything what we say is bullshit! The most important advice is that you should never talk to a client about architecture. Talk to him about his children. That is simply good politics. He will not understand what you have to say about architecture most of the time. An architect of ability should be able to tell a client what he wants. Most of the time a client never knows what he wants.
Philip Johnson: “Architects are pretty much high-class whores. We can turn down projects the way they can turn down some clients, but we’ve both got to say yes to someone if we want to stay in business.
Michael Graves: “I don’t care what people call me, labels have the negative value of making smaller boundaries for people. I don’t believe in morality in architecture.”
Mies: “But what if we are dealing with fools?”
Johnson: “We do pretty much whatever we want to.”
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Maksim Gorky: “Hell is so badly done.”
